Maggie Jewell, 134 YinD
I read something recently that suggested, “Good writers comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.” I will not even suggest here as to what this piece of writing will turn out to be. I have long given up the idea of pleasing everyone. It is a losing battle. Therefore, I go about caring for my very soul. In that process of caring for my soul and protecting my peace, I have come to know that I have helped others with both my spoken and written words. It is who I am.
Each year, for the past 63 or so years, a group of eager and like-minded men and women from America are sent to countries all over the world to serve as Peace Corps Volunteers, fondly referred to as PCVs. I am one. And I am one of a fortunate few who got placed in the beautiful country of Thailand.
As any PCV well knows, there is a secret sauce to this journey. We each have our very own recipe, but we stick it out for 27 months in a culture not our own. How that looks for each individual is as unique as our individual fingerprints.
We came together, initially for Pre-Service Training (PST) for nearly 3 months in a host village to learn about the culture and the language. This is far from easy. Not to diminish this process, for it is its own story, but the heart of a PCV journey is mostly an individual one, situated in a small, tucked away town, for the remaining 24 months. Oftentimes we are the only foreigner (farang) for many, many kilometers.
Once PST is in the rearview mirror, the real service begins. Truly it is “sink or swim”. The skills one needs to survive, or thrive, if you will, have either been a part of the PCV, or they quickly learn and add on, and on and on, new and necessary talents.
These talents I speak of have mostly nothing to do with our classroom presence. No, this is survival of the fittest with people of a totally different culture. I emphasize different and not less than or better than. There is not a PCV, present or past, who does not get what I am talking about here. You cannot fathom living in another culture, where not everyone around you has a “buy-in” attitude about the Peace Corps program. You learn. You watch. You try to speak. You get laughed at. You sometimes cry. You seek kindness. You pick your tribe. You make friends and allies. You change. You change some around you. You try to avoid the human minefield. You survive. You may also thrive. No day is the same. It is the human condition, all of it.
With that, what follows next is my heartfelt thank you to Thailand… in the form of a love letter.
A Love Letter to Thailand
Dear Thai,
I came to you seeking something unexplainable. Yes, I chose the word “seeking” as it is the best word for the job. I feel lucky (choke-dee) to have been selected to serve you. But, in hindsight, I think you served me more. Perhaps there is a balance on both sides.
At first, I gave, and you misunderstood my intentions. Then, it was me who misunderstood yours. But we stuck around. Maybe it was curiosity, reverence, fear, even… who really knows? For me at least, I possess powerful self-worth. So it was always about self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance, self-regard, self-preservation, and above all else, SERVICE. Service is a part of who I am to my core.
I did not expect the love to be such a force. I have learned that when I shine my light (be it varying levels of brightness on any given day), it allows others to do the same. I have seen many Thai people shine back to me.
In these two+ years, I took on different looks, but I remained steadfast in my commitment to my service, in shining as best I could from weak to week. 😉
Over time, what happened was that many a magical moment transpired. We PCVs know this to be the case. You see it in a child’s eyes. You feel it in their hugs. You acknowledge it in their gained confidence. A high five, a silly jumping game, a shared laugh, these actions transcend language. I felt a lot of love over these past few years, and they truly came to outweigh the difficult times.
So, bprathet Thai, out here in the East, I say to you, “I LOVE YOU.” You have brought strengthened balance to my life. I did not realize it, but I have always needed you in my life. The laughter, hugs, smiles, and shared special moments throughout, as well as the misperceived slights, miscommunications, hardships in getting around, cultural differences, etc., have all blended into making a masterpiece: US PCVs.
Year in and year out, we arrive from America with all sorts of expectations and aspirations. I hope I have given back to you what I have taken. I feel rather good about having done so.
Sticky Rice 
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