English What Now? is an ongoing series based around the humorous, head-scratching, or just plain amusing English found around Thailand observed and written by Teresa Derr.
Teresa Derr, 134 YinD
In Thai, if you want to make something negative, you add one word: ไม่ (Mai). Don’t like something? Mai like. Do you disagree with someone? Mai agree. Something is false? Mai true. We aren’t going somewhere? Mai go. Need to say no? Mai. It is rather simple, especially compared to the variety of ways we can make something negative in English! It’s why I can’t really fault some of these signs for not quite getting the negative right (three negatives in that sentence alone – all different! Phew, English is a nightmare sometimes!)
Grace sent this to me, and I had to laugh. Careless means to not take care and thus is already negative, but it doesn’t look negative if you don’t know what ‘less’ means! So instead of a good sign warning against being careless for fear of accidents, we get a sign that seems to sum up my experience with a good chunk of Thai drivers (especially those on motorcycles!) who seem convinced of their invincibility and thus do not take care, for accidents will not happen to them.
Melena Vandervoort sent these in the volunteer group chat
Several schools do anti-drug presentations and activities, but this one, sent into the group chat by another volunteer, definitely sums up what cigarettes are! Indeed, if you smoke them (using your illogical ‘not logic’) you will die faster. Especially if you’re using ‘not logic’ made in the USA! Which specific ‘not logic’ comes from the USA, I’m sure I don’t know. Probably every country has some brand of ‘not logic’.
I took this picture in a mall when shopping with a friend for water bottles. While they had the correct usage of “care”, the rest of the warning falls apart a little bit. ‘Don’t fall’ is an instruction applicable to a great many situations (as it’s the rainy season, I’ve been slipping and sliding all over the place on the mud and algae that has sprouted out of nowhere, so I’ve needed this instruction!), but ‘Not pressure’? I wasn’t pressuring my friend into buying a water bottle, so perhaps I heeded this instruction as well. Or maybe I wasn’t supposed to feel pressure if I didn’t fall. I didn’t fall, so I didn’t feel pressure. Whatever it is trying to say, I’m sure I followed it.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Let me know if you’ve run into any other fun negatives – or not! – that didn’t quite ‘negative’ correctly. I’d love to feature your submission in another article of English What Not!
Sticky Rice 