Sticky Rice

This article was not written by a Peace Corps Thailand volunteer currently serving in country.

Through Their Eyes… is an ongoing series of articles and videos showcasing the unique experience each volunteer has at their site through a visitors’ eyes.

Pete Jarvis, rPCV Ghana 1989-1991

Earlier this June I got to visit my partner, Dewey Tran, at his Peace Corps site in Thailand. Coincidentally, it was also Pride Month.

Dewey is in his first year, working with primary school children as a Youth in Development Volunteer in the central province of Lopburi. He’s been at his site for a couple of months, and this, combined with the fact that school is very much in session, meant that vacation days and traveling around the country were not on the program. Rather, we’d be focusing on everyday life and work.

“You’ll come to the office, and to school, with me,” Dewey informed me before I arrived. 

That was fine with me! I looked forward to this incredible opportunity. But I also couldn’t help but wonder how it was going to go over with everyone.

I knew that everything would be, basically, cool. Thailand can be an unusually welcoming place for LGBTQI+ folks, and Dewey had decided from the beginning that he needed to serve openly. Moreover, he’d made sure to get a site that didn’t have any problem hosting a gay Volunteer.

But still…I couldn’t help but wonder how my visit would go over.

“Everyone can’t wait to meet you!” Dewey told me repeatedly in the weeks leading up to my arrival. “They keep asking: When is Pete coming? When is Pete coming? Even though they already know. That’s how Thai people are.”

Still, I held some trepidations, stemming from my personal history. I am an rPCV Ghana, 1989-1991. During my time of service, I was aware of my fluidity but endeavoring to be straight, as being straight was somewhat compulsory in the USA then. And although homosexuality was illegal in Ghana at the time, as it still very much is, the subject was never once raised in a single Peace Corps training or interview. We were left to figure it out on our own, and the unspoken message was: “Everyone here has to be straight, even if you aren’t.” I readily complied, since this was how I was already operating in the USA. I was doing such a good job at being straight! During my two years of Peace Corps service, I focused very little on sexuality, went into hibernation so to speak, and it was actually not a problem because there was so much else going on to focus on (and I loved Ghana).

Of course, Thailand isn’t Ghana. Not even close. But still…

Right off the bat, Dewey’s boss—his Nayok (mayor)—put me at ease. On the first evening, Nayok and his wife, Yupin, took us out for an extraordinary dinner and we really hit it off, even though I speak no Thai and they speak no English. The fact that Dewey had managed to acquire Thai in only four months had a lot to do with it. This was the first of three very special dinners we enjoyed together.

In the office the next morning, we entered to huge smiles and warm “Sawadee krap!” s from everyone. On Dewey’s desk were big gifted cups of iced Thai tea along with—you guessed it! Mango sticky rice!—lovingly placed there by his counterpart, Fang. This really helped to fortify us before we headed off to school. 

Ah yes. School. I thought. How was THAT going to go?

Here’s how it went:

Dewey marches into the classroom and I follow him. The children, in their lovely purple uniforms, are happy and excited to see us.

“This is my boyfriend, Pete,” Dewey announces to the class, motioning to me.

“Ooooooh!!” go the students, and a wave of energy flows through the room followed by loud, exuberant chatter. 

Then comes the rush of questions. I can’t understand anything anyone is saying, but this doesn’t matter because Dewey seizes a dry erase marker and, in rapid-fire Thai, answers the questions and writes the answers on the board: 4.5 years. 59 years. 33 years. Colorado, USA.

How long have you been together? How old is Pete? How old are you? Where is Pete from?

It quickly becomes apparent that the fact we are two men is a relatively minor point. Of far more interest is that we are widely different ages (nearly unheard of in Thai relationships) and different races—the latter leading to more discussion about characteristics of America and the world. There’s so much to discuss, so much to learn about! And from there, we dive into the day’s lesson, Dewey and me teaching side by side. 

“That was amazing,” Dewey tells me later, as we climb onto our bikes and ride back to the office.

“Yes, it was.”

“No! I’m talking about what I overheard some of the students discussing while we were playing Mastermind. One girl said to another, ‘It doesn’t matter if it’s two women, or two men, or whatever. Love is love.’ And the boy next to them chimed in and said, ‘Or two trans people! Love is what matters.’”

And in this manner, I feel these beautiful children are leading the world, and not the other way around.

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