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Sierra Drummond, TESS 131

I’ve recently enjoyed the comfort of other noise in my home
Not directed at me but through me, an inescapable reminder of company, that I’m not alone
I hadn’t felt publicly alone in months, just in public, then alone, they aren’t extremes that I condone
but I moved into a new home that invites guests on its own
where my heart feels a bit more kept by those that I know

& there’s this lovely little greeting I’m lucky to be met with
By the white-haired women who sell the fish and the herbs
our exchanges aren’t built by very many words
They embrace me with a gentle touch of my forearm, a sign I’m seen, and loved, to lengths I did nothing to receive
It’s simple but it means absolutely everything to me

Here I wear my smile like armor and like a welcome mat
This duality fits me to be an emotional acrobat
Here I’m not so certain what version of me I’d like to be
Just try to keep my eyes open & see all there is to see

“Yes” is more an exhale than a decision made these days
On days that I feel down, “Yes” can send a friend my way
“Yes” ensures that absolutely all my time is spent
& “Yes” makes me always, usually, happy that I went

Yet still should I make a do-better-book, filled with times I left to waste?
In skipping through scenes and resisting space
To sit in thoughts that might make time something I should embrace?

I’ll just enjoy the powdered faces and drink the powdered drinks
and try not to hate a growing silhouette I’d like to shrink
I’ll feel the distorted bass lines and evade the swarming flies
I’ll wonder why I still hesitate to claim my life as mine

I’m sure that I’ll still fill some voids with sticky rice and wine
I’m sure a smile from a student will stifle any urge to cry
I’ll know that, here, at my lowest, I often fly to my peak
I think the purest form of life is when it changes week to week


2 replies »

  1. Your words are music for my soul. I laughed, I cried, I shivered and I sighed. All in the awe of your talent that comes from deep within your very being. Keep soaking up all that life has to offer knowing that the world is a better place with you in it.

    Like

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