When I Lose Myself


Moises Puentes, 131 TESS

There are no sounds but those the mountain commands

A thousand creatures communicating their nature

The waters of the river crashing against the rocks

It used to be peaceful, but now it’s just loud

They overpowered everything,

The music I played,

The words I voiced to no one but myself

Everything drowned in the constant monotone language of the mountain

I was muffled by the white sound of solitude

And so, I began to lose myself in the present

Catching myself coming back with the past

The sun was shining but I couldn’t see past my memory

And I remember when I could see the trees moving,

How they danced for me,

How they spoke to me.

Now, they stand there motionless, as if mocking me

And I lose myself

In the absence of wind,

In the sound of the water,

In the heat of the sun,

I lose myself

And I find myself wandering the streets of my past,

Running down Folsom,

Crying down Saint Paul,

Smiling down Kedzie

In the deprivation of sensation,

I find myself hearing the laughter of my mother,

Seeing the faces of my brothers,

Feeling the warmth of a lover.

But it is all gone,

And all that is left,

in this static place,

are the strolls I take when I lose myself.


Read Moises’ previous articles and contributions.

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