Carissa Anderson, 130 YinD

To the city of angels:

After living in Thailand for little more than a year, I’ve always viewed Bangkok like an annoying sibling.

It’s a required relationship to the rest of my life here, but I find the noise, lack of space and the money black hole not my speed.

I follow the masses, offering myself to friends’ plans as a tether – much like a ribbon to a maypole.

Family, friends, students and community members hold onto those connections, all dancing together in rhythm and sync yet all separate with their own courses.

Bangkok, we’re here to stretch our pent-up spirits and restless feet.

I stretch really far to accommodate others, and it often has led me to unideal situations.

My spirit feels heavy.

This time, unlike any other time before, I find myself exploring on my own with no obligations to be anywhere and no one beside me to take the reins.

My ribbons fall a little loose under a steady wind.

I find joy in the quiet parks, newly discovered bookstores, winding bus routes, live jazz bands, new hostel friends and King’s Cup on rooftops.

Bangkok, you’re now my cousin that I see at family get-togethers; we sneak away together for fun drives.

My job is to serve others. It’s not a job that requires a manual clock in/out.

It follows you everywhere, taking up most of all your mind.

They say this job makes us see who we really are or meant to be.

Whether we have made that discovery or are still searching, we tend to forget to care for our present-day selves.

For me, I need to remember to keep a ribbon for myself.

I like to dance, too.

– Carissa

P.S. Chiang Mai, you’re still the cooler cousin.