Dear Friends,

I want to tell the tale of recent events past. It’s a story unlike I’ve ever told, and dare say I, one like you have never heard. So please, sit back and get comfortable. Take deep breaths as you begin to clear your mind…Now picture this.

It was a hot sultry day, the kind of day where you in your semi- delusional state begin to think of what name you will give the waterfall-noi currently flowing down your back.

The sun seemed to be mere meters from the surfaces of the Earth and ready to bake anyone or anything foolish enough to be outside at a time like this. And then there it was, like a mirage in the distance. What could that be? A refreshing bubbling brook running free with cool glacial water, maybe even a yet unknown artesian spring well that future schools and offices will bpai-tiao for hours to only to stay and take selfies for 5 minutes before once again mounting the winged chariot for fifty, powered solely by off-pitch karaoke.

As I tepidly approached, not knowing if it was real or just my malaria medicine kicking in; I took that leap of faith and was transported to a different time and place. Imagine my surprise when I walked through the beckoning portal and was met with the most soothing sounds of nature and offerings from the nectar of the gods.

As I sat down on a plush, cloud like throne, blasts of arctic air swirled around me. I was tempted by so many things the PCMO would not approve. Do I sample the dark elixir topped with painting of flowers on a smooth canvas or do I try the green concoction that the beauty next to me is so thoroughly enjoying? Alas, I was overcome with this brave new world and finally succumbed to what I thought I knew so well.

“1 Americano please”

-Anonomyous