April 20 -May 20
Happy Birthday Taurus! No more bad news for the bull. The next project that you create will be surprising to everyone involved. Of course, as a PCV you are used to being surprised, but not in this way. Also, keep an eye out for a new love possibility! There is a new moon rising in Taurus in a few months, and that, mixed with other mysterious astrological events, as well as the meditations of certain monks who appreciate your personality, will create new possibilities for relationships!
May 21 -June 20
Things have been going so well for you, you fantastic magnificent animal of awesomeness, but unfortunately you will have to pay for all that good fortune with a little stumble. In a couple months, mercury will go into retrograde. This impacts everyone in a way, but it is particularly devastating for the Gemini, who filters every emotion through a intellectual magnifying glass. Mercury is the master of our way of thinking things through, and when it starts to roll backwards in the heavens above, we become lost. Don’t worry though, you will be back to your standard level of stupendousness in short order.
June 21 -July 22
These past few months have really been about introspection for you, but you have spent too much time worrying about failed projects and offended counterparts. (Unless you are a brand new PCV who has spent all their time worrying about failing projects and offending counterparts.) It is time to remember that you are in THAILAND, where elephants live and sometimes monkeys run freely through the streets. Sure, there are also angry dogs running around, and occasionally pythons slithering under your bed…But this is a magical place that you get to live in. Enjoy it!
July 23 -August 22
Lovely lions of the corps, you have truly created a sanctuary within the land of Thais. But remember, a sanctuary is a place where people hide. It is time that you found other ways to cope with stress. Take a long bike ride to somewhere you have never been. Teach the children in your community how to play double-dutch. Write an article for Sticky Rice. Do something new to get your mind off of your worries.
August 23 -September 22
Virgo, are you even reading this horoscope? Whether you pay attention to the stars, or pretend they aren’t there, they still shine brightly for all of us. So basically, if you’re still reading this, you need to make an effort to start enjoying the night’s sky. We all live under the same one, but only some people take time to look at it.
September 23 -October 22
In a few weeks the moon will become full in Libra but it will be eclipsed by …the eclipse. What this means for you is that whatever you have been working towards will happen in a fantastic way and in a moment when no one is paying attention. You might not even be aware of your success, but just know that you’re successful whether you (or anyone else) know it or not. Good job, Libra.
October 23 -November 21
Scorpio, sometimes you are kinder than you need to be. All that water has washed out your fire, and it might be time to let yourself reignite. You have been allowing something negative to continue in your life for long enough, and you have to confront it. It isn’t necessary to be mean to express anger or unhappiness, you can be assertive in your own way. Just do it.
November 22 -December 21
You have a natural affinity for trends. This may manifest in fashionable clothing, or the new feeling of an unknown technology. This craving is hard to feed in a remote village in Thailand, but you may be close to finding something that you weren’t aware of before. Just be patient, and you will find something new to get lost in.
December 22 -January 19
If you ever get a chance to connect to the internet, you can find an article explaining that “Capricorns went out of style in 1989.” Now, this isn’t because Capricorns have no style, it is just that their power-hungry personalities are now archaic. With that out of the way, we can focus on how to adjust your personality to suit your village environment. Next time you are at a dinner table with your coworkers on one of your millions of outings, take charge of serving ice and drinks. And when you go to a Buddhist ceremony, show up two hours early to help everyone prepare. You can meet your desire to have control while at the same time appearing humble. And don’t worry, I’m sure Capricorns will be fashionable again someday.
January 20 -February 18
Aquarian, try to spend the next few months creating new projects. You have become complacent, and bored, and it is starting to become obvious. It is time to shake things up a little, and luckily this is something you excel at. Throw a party, and make all your Thai neighbors sing American Karaoke. Set up a dance-marathon to raise money for a play or a trip to one of the Peace Corps camps. Try to think further outside of the box than ever before. Remember that you might never again have the chance to dress government workers in tutus and force them to lip-sync to George Michael songs…and call it a “project.”
February 19 -March 20
Pisces, this is a fortuitous time to purchase a lottery ticket. You are going to have a lucky streak over the next month or two and you will want to take advantage of it. Anything that you have been postponing because you’re not sure how it will work out – do it now. It is like when Harry drank the Felix Felicis and was able to accomplish Dumbledore’s mission. Every intuition that you have will pay out, so follow your gut and enjoy it. You lucky….person.
March 21 -April 19
Happy Birthday Aries! These coming months will be really spectacular for you, especially if you continue with your new attitude. It is best to just relax and watch the show and not worry about the aftermath. This will be easy for you as the sun and mercury enter Aries in the next few days. The sun will light up the mental mercury and allow you to see your thoughts more clearly now than the rest of the year.